


Promise of Protection

by Katrina_Leann



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gold and Jefferson are best friends, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-05-27 21:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 17,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Leann/pseuds/Katrina_Leann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle and Nathan were high school sweethearts and madly in love. When they have to part ways, they promise to make it work. Life gets in the way of them but they reunite five years later. Can they rekindle the flame, or is there too much distance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye

"I don't have to go." 

 

Nathan hugged her a little closer. They were sitting on his bed, her back to his chest, face pressed against his collarbone. He wanted to agree with her, he wanted to tell her that she was absolutely right and hold her forever. But he wouldn't. Instead he tilted up her chin and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her until they were as close as possible. And it still wasn't close enough. 

 

"Belle," he murmured against her neck, placing a feather soft kiss there, "it's _Yale_." 

 

"And you're you." She whispered back, cupping his cheek. 

 

Nathan wanted to melt into her touch. But once again, he didn't. He couldn't let her give this up. 

 

"Belle, I don't want you to turn down a school like that for me. You've worked for four years and this is your dream, love. I don't want you to lose it." In all honesty, he wanted her to stay. The idea of four years apart sounded about as appealing as jumping off of a cliff. But what he said was true, Belle had earned this. 

 

She stiffled a sob against the collar of his shirt, "Four years, Nate. Four. I-I can't do that. I love you so much and love is sacrifice. I'll give it up, I choose you." 

 

He kissed her head, inhaling deeply. She smelled of vanilla and roses and _Belle_ , and gods, he would miss her. Because this was too important. 

 

"If love is sacrifice, then I'll pay the price. Belle you deserve this, you've earned this. And we're strong enough to survive this, our love is strong enough to survive this. It's four years, yeah. But what is four years on eternal love? It'll go by quick, then we'll be back together, you'll see." He kept his voice low, still holding her petite form against him, committing the feeling of being wrapped around her to memory. 

 

She turned her head and kissed him softly and slowly. "D'you have any idea how much I love you Nathan Gold?" 

 

He laughed against her lips, "Well I'd hope a lot. I think a lot. Is it a lot?" 

 

Belle grinned, "Yeah." 

 

Nathan kissed her cheek and briefly extracted himself from their tangle of limbs. Reaching deep into his pocket he pulled out a ring and presented it to Belle. 

 

Her mouth fell open and he quickly explained, "I'm not proposing. Not yet, anyways. This is a promise ring, and as long as you wear it I promise that you'll never be alone. I promise that I'll always be there for you, and I'll always protect you. I'm only nineteen, Belle. But this is it. You're it, and I know that. I promise to love you forever, and soon, this'll be a real ring. But for now..." 

 

He waited until she nodded to slip the ring on her right ring finger, and then kissed her hand. 

 

She cuddled into his side and he placed another kiss against her hair. They would be alright. 

 

**X** 

 

It was harder to keep that mentality two weeks later. With Belle's bags all packed and loaded onto the train, the reality hit him like a ton of bricks. For four years she would be gone. 

 

"We'll call each other every day," Nathan promised as she cried in his arms. 

 

Sniffling she nodded, "Every day. Visit every weekend?" 

 

"Of course, love," he promised. 

 

The train was finished loading and Belle clutched him tighter, "I'm not ready, yet." 

 

He kissed her deeply, then. His hands on her waist as he gently maneuvered her towards the train. He buttoned up her jacket, kissed her cheek and walked her all the way to the door of the train. 

 

"Nate..." She cried softly and he kissed her forehead. 

 

"I'll see you on Saturday. In just three days, sweetheart." 

 

She nodded and climbed on, instantly sitting down and pressing her hands against the window. He smiled and put his hands to mirror hers. _I love you_ , he mouthed and she nodded, resting her head against her hands. 

 

He stayed like that until the brakes lifted, forcing him to back away. He watched as it sped off, and only when it was out of sight did he allow the tears he'd been holding back to slip down his cheeks. 

 

**X**

 

For the first two weeks it was easy to keep their routine. Talk in the morning before her first class and then again later when she was back in her dorm. During week three she had told him she could only talk once a day. 

 

By week four it was once every other day. 

 

On his weekend to visit she had a major test to study for, so he ended up staying home. On her weekend to visit, his aunts got sick and had to be rushed to the hospital. And then she had another test. 

 

Finally, Nathan had had enough. Packing a bag he bought a train ticket. 

 

With a bouquet of roses in hand he thanked the taxi driver as they pulled up to Yale. The he campus was huge, and since he was here to surprise her, he couldn't just call and ask where she was. Though he had a great idea of where to start looking. 

 

The library was filled with every book he could possibly want to find and it was all too easy to picture Belle losing herself in this fortress of books and adventures and knowledge. 

 

He was just starting to comtemplate asking another student if they knew where she was when he saw her. It was like a punch to the gut in the best possible way. Her brows were furrowed in concentration and Nathan walked up beside her. 

 

"You're studying for English, right? I couldn't remember what you'd told me over the phone, so I decided to come check." 

 

Belle whipped around so fast he was afraid she'd fall. 

 

"Nate? What are you doing here?" 

 

Nathan blinked slowly. This was not going how he'd planned. "I haven't seen you in over a month, Belle." 

 

She bit her lip and quickly packed up her stuff, "Come on. We can't really talk in here." 

 

Nathan followed her into what he assumed was her dorm room and stood in silence as she closed the door behind them. "I got these for you." 

 

He handed her the roses and as she reached for them his world came crashing down. She wasn't wearing the ring. 

 

Oblivious us to his inner distress, Belle smiled. "Thanks, Nate. They're beautiful." 

 

_She wasn't wearing the ring._

 

_"_ I just really wanted to see you," he mumbled hoarsely. He refused to be upset, but his very soul was crushing. This wasn't pain, this was agony. 

 

She smiled sadly, "I know. I feel it too, Nate. I miss you so much." 

 

"Do you?" He fired back, his tone challenging. He hadn't meant to. But he was already trying to keep it together and hearing her talk about missing him had broken him. Between her almost impersonal greeting and the ring, that'd been the last straw. 

 

Belle, however, looked as if he'd hit her. "What? Why would you even say that Nate, of course I do." 

 

"You're not wearing the ring." He was proud of the way his voice hadn't shook. He was also terrified of how defeated those five words sounded. 

 

"Nate, don't do this." Quickly she ran over to a little jewelry box and took it out, showing it to him. 

 

"Do what? You're the one who took it off Belle! That was supposed to mean something, it was supposed to be our future." 

 

Belle went pale, "Supposed to? Oh no, please don't... _Nate_." 

 

She wrapped him in a tight hug, but he still felt cold. Gently he pushed her back down. 

 

"I think I should go, Belle." He didn't want to hurt her, but he needed to think. Too much was going on in his head and he needed to think. 

 

"Nate, I love you. Please don't... It sounds like you're saying goodbye." 

 

He wanted to reassure her that everything would be fine, but he couldn't. Because he didn't know. There were dozens of ways this day had been placed together in his mind and it had all blown up in his face. 

 

"I need to go, Belle." He repeated and forced back tears at the way she slumped in grief. 

 

She moved out of his way, but murmured, "Call me tomorrow?" 

 

He didn't answer. 

 

And the the next day he didn't call. But neither did she. 


	2. Reunions

It was like clockwork.

Every night, at some point between midnight and three, Neal would crawl into his bed. Every night, the same mumbled, _"Last time."_

Not that Nathan minded.

Unfortunately, Neal was currently tangled around him, making moving without waking him a challenge. Then his phone buzzed and Neal grumbled sleepily before rolling over.

 **Milah** : _I want to see my son._

Nathan snorted. Her son? Where has she been for the past four years? For every nightmare. For every temper tantrum and fever.

**Nathan:** _Your son? I seem to recall you telling me you couldn't afford to have a "little brat" with you while you and your boy toy traveled. And then proceeded to sign over your rights._

Her reply was immediate.

 **Milah:** _You know I was drunk. And his name is Killian._

Nathan stared at his phone in disbelief. Did she really think that would help her case?

"Papa, wha' times it?" Neal murmured into the pillow.

"Early. Go back to sleep, I heard Miss Boyd pull up a few moments ago."

As if to prove his point there was a soft knock on the front door. Neal gave him a sleepy hug and then promptly went back to sleep.

Nathan opened the front door and Ashley smiled.

"Good morning, Mr. Gold! How are you?" She greeted warmly as he opened the door farther.

"I'm okay. Neal is still asleep upstairs so please help yourself to anything you like. Also, Jefferson will--"

Ashley cut in softly, "-- pick up Neal from the house later this afternoon. Yes, Mr. Gold, I remember."

Nathan nodded, "Precisely, Miss Boyd. Have a good day."

Driving helped calm his jumbled nerves and Nathan exhaled deeply.

Swiftly, he pulled into Granny's driveway and walked inside.

The warm air and smell of maple syrup helped him relax farther.

"Mr. Gold, the usual?" Asked a slightly chirpy voice.

"Yeah, just the usual."

Suddenly an amused voice cut in, "What, you to good to sit in for some real food?"

Nathan laughed and shook his head, "No, Miss Lucas. Just have a full day."

Ruby placed his coffee on the counter and he took it gratefully, letting the warmth seep into his still chilled hands.

Nathan had just completely relaxed when a crash sounded from behind him.

He spun around and--

"Nate?"

Five years. Five years and her voice could still reduce his mind to frantic, fleeting thoughts.

He blinked and looked down, seeing what he assumed had once been a plate.

 _"Nate?!"_ Belle repeated, her own eyes as wide as his surely were, her body language screaming discomfort and disbelief. Her eyes shone with an emotion so close to hope that he stumbled the few steps back to the door and bolted.

It only took a moment for the door to fly open behind him. "Nathan, wait! Nathan!"

He all but crashed into his shop, and Belle was right behind him. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily. He felt a brief pang of guilt when he realized that she'd run after him in heels, but that thought was quickly overridden by the realization that she was here.

"Nathan..." She murmured his name like she was dreaming, stepping closer as her eyes studied his face. "It's you. It's really you."

Nathan nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Belle swallowed so hard he could see her throat muscles move, "I never thought I'd see you again. I nev-"

"Please stop."

His own throat was tight with unshed tears and if she kept talking his fragile composure would surely snap.

Belle blinked, then nodded. "Of course, I didn't mean to ambush you like that. I apologize."

Nathan was taken aback by her suddenly formal tone, "No, it's just..." He trailed off as he searched for the word and Belle looked just as lost. "So what brings you to Storybrooke?"

It was a weak attempt to change the subject, but he needed to.

Belle shrugged, "Starting over. I-I couldn't stay at Yale."

That was a surprise. "Why?"

She looked at him sadly then, her eyes filled with so much grief that he had to bite his cheek hard to resist holding her close and promising to keep her happy. He'd done that once. It hadn't worked out well.

"It kept reminding me. I wanted to forget, and it kept reminding me. I couldn't even go to the library anymore. I avoided my dorm as much as I could, and it just became too much."

Nathan nodded and took steps away from her. Already he was having to fight the urge to comfort her, and being close enough to smell the scent that was uniquely her didn't help.

Belle looked just past him, her eyes widening in surprise and he didn't have to turn around to know what she was looking at. He kept a picture of Neal on his front counter.

"Who's this?" She asked, stepping around him, but careful to make sure they didn't touch.

"My son, Neal. He's four now."

Belle blinked rapidly, and smiled. But it didn't reach her eyes, "I'm happy you moved on, Nathan. I think-"

He snorted in amusement. He and Milah had never had a relationship. What'd they'd had was a distraction from their own minds and loneliness.

"I didn't move on. I tried to but, it didn't work. And I'd say I regret it, but then I wouldn't have Neal. He showed me what unconditional love is."

His voice had trailed off towards the end, until it had become a soft murmur.

Belle was silent. And then--

"I'm happy that you're happy. I uh... I work at the library, here in town."

Nathan blinked. Hard.

The library.

Right across the street. Less than an entire block from him.

Belle bit her lip, and whispered, "If that's okay? I got a job offer in Boston, I could transfer."

He found himself shaking his head, "No, Belle. We-we are both adults. We are perfect capable of maintaining a professional relationship."

No, he was actually pretty sure that they were not. At all. _He_ certainly couldn't. While his mind was screaming at him to put as much distance between them as he could, his heart seemed intent on leaping out of his chest and into her hands.

As if she didn't still have it.

"Of course we can. You're right, I know you are," this time Belle trailed off, before giving him a polite nod, "I'll see you around, Nathan."

Her smile once again didn't reach her eyes, and then she was gone. Crossing the street. To the library. Where she would be for the foreseeable future.

_Bloody hell._


	3. Reopening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Nathan isn't as strong as he tries to be. Thank God for Jefferson.

By the time he had finally managed to drag himself from his shop and back to the diner where Jefferson and Neal would be waiting, it was very late afternoon.

They were sitting in "their" booth, Neal and Grace talking excitedly between themselves, eyes wide. Jefferson gave him a theatrical wave and ushered him over.

"Nathan! How goes it, all well?" He greeted, his voice a tad higher.

Jefferson was a year younger than him, just twenty-three. His daughter, Grace, was the same age as Neal.

"Mr. Nathan! I haven' seen you in two weeks!" Grace exclaimed in excitement, finally looking up from her conversation with Neal. Nathan smiled at the girl and waved a small hello.

Afterwards, Grace went back to chatting with Neal.

"The diner was buzzing when we came in. Something about Mr. Gold and the new librarian, care to explain?"

Nathan took a deep drink of the coffee Jefferson had already ordered him, "No. Not really."

Jefferson looked at him then, really looked at him. His brown eyes pinched into a frown and a single eyebrow raised.

"Not here," Nathan amended after a moment of Jefferson's stare. He flicked his eyes over to where Neal and Grace were still talking, completely oblivious to their surroundings.

Jefferson gave him a nod and sunk farther into the booth.

When their food arrived, Nathan was saved from the curiosity he felt radiating off of Jefferson in waves. Even Neal and Grace, who had been so wrapped up in whatever topic had consumed their attention, stopped talking to eat.

However, after they had all finished eating and retired back to his house, he wasn't so lucky. Neal and Grace had long since run off to Neal's room, leaving he and Jefferson alone.

Sure enough Jefferson flopped onto his couch, head tilted slightly to the side, "Explain."

Nathan sighed, "In all the gossip, did you happen to catch the librarians name?"

Jefferson seemed to ponder this, his head tilting farther and lips pursed in concentration. "Can't say I did."

Nathan ran his hands over his face, suddenly feeling very tired. "Belle. Her name is Belle."

Even just saying her _name_ sent a sharp pang through his heart. Jefferson only needed a moment before his slightly slouched back was ramrod straight and his eyes went wide.

"As in--" he started, but Nathan cut him off.

"Yeah. As in."

"She's here? In _Storybrooke_ of all places?"

"Yeah."

"Oh _man_ ," Jefferson was animated, his facial features defined sharply in his excitement, however, he quickly calmed down when he saw Nathan's face. "Are you okay, Nate?"

Nathan exhaled a shuddering breath, "No. As a matter of fact I am _not_ okay."

He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He had finally started to put Belle behind him. Five years and his heart had just _finally_ started mending. He had a son and a best friend. He had a life now.

Five years ago a life that didn't involve Belle seemed impossible. Unthinkable.

He had finally started to move on. Really move on. Had accepted that she was gone and he'd never see her again, but here she was.

"Nate..."

Jefferson's concerned voice had broken him out of his own mind, his eyes filled with concern.

"I still love her," Nathan choked out.

He'd known he still loved her, of course. But saying it out loud, making it real by admitting it to another person made it so much harder, even if that person was Jefferson. 

And suddenly, a dam had broken inside of him. Every emotion he had bottled up since that day five years ago erupted and he let out a quiet sob.

Love was supposed to be cloud nine. Love was supposed to be amazing and unreal.

Right now Nathan wanted to deck whoever thought that was true. He'd had incredible. Unreal and cloud nine.

He'd had Belle.

But now he didn't. And when Jefferson pulled him into a much needed hug, Nathan repeated, "I still love her."

Jefferson sighed, "I know, man. I know."

Nathan's minor breakdown had ended just in time.

Moments after he'd calmed himself down, Neal was barreling down the stairs, Grace right behind him.

"Hey! What did I say about running down the stairs?" Nathan called out, voice a little hoarse, but not terribly.

Both children had a guilty look and slowed to an excited walk. Grace immediately jumped into her fathers arms and Jefferson held the girl close, "You have fun, little rabbit?"

Grace nodded against his chest.

"Papa, Grace says the old library is finally opening up! Is it true?" Neal asked, his brown eyes wide with barely suppressed excitement.

Nathan nodded slowly, "Aye, it's opening."

Neal's eyes grew wider and Nathan felt his stomach tightening. He knew _exactly_ were this was heading.

"Can we go? Oh please, Papa! They might have a book on dinosaurs, Papa you know I love dinosaurs."

He felt Jefferson tap his hand, and when he turned to look at him, Jefferson seemed to radiate calm. He knew, no matter what, Jefferson had his back.

"Can we go, daddy? Please?" Grace asked Jefferson, but he didn't answer. He was waiting, Nathan realized.

Nathan looked back at Neal, "I don't see why we can't stop by and browse."

Neal whooped in victory and ran up to his room to get ready.

"Alright, little rabbit. Your powers of persuasion have convinced me. We'll tag along with Nate and Neal. See if we find anything interesting."

Grace smiled widely, "Like dinosaurs?"

Jefferson cocked his head in confusion, "Since when are you a dino-maniac?"

"Neal says there are hundreds of kinds of the same dinosaur! Can you believe that, daddy? Hundreds!"

Jefferson turned to Nathan, "I blame you for this. When she wakes up at three in the morning wanting to talk about migration patterns, I'm taking her here."

Nathan gave a soft puff of laughter, "She's four, Jefferson."

He shrugged, "Your point? She's a smart one, my little rabbit."

Nathan grinned and slapped him on the back.

Neal walked down the stairs and stooped in front of Nathan. His jacket was buttoned wrong and his hat was inside out.

"I'm ready!" He pronounced and Nathan laughed for real.

Quickly he knelt down next to the boy and fixed his hat and buttons, softly tapping his nose after. "Now you're ready."

Jefferson walked over to Nathan, his eyebrows pinched. "Are _you_ ready?"

Nathan gave him a small smile and nodded, "Yeah. I'm ready."

 


	4. The Library

The library was packed.

Not that Nathan was particularly surprised, it had been closed for the three years he'd lived here and a long while before that.

He didn't have any more time to ponder that thought as he was, quite literally, being dragged through the people and bookshelves by a very excited Neal.

They stopped in front of a section filled with kids books, and Neal wasted no time dropping to his knees and scanning the books. Grace ran around to the other side, the apparent plan to divide and conquer.

He and Jefferson made themselves comfortable in the chairs, watching their children peel through books.

"I think we did alright. You know, considering," Jefferson confided, a small smile gracing his lips as he watched Grace trot over to Neal with a book in hand.

Apparently it was one that interested them both because they high-fived before Grace went back over to her side.

"Yeah, I think so too."

It was an unspoken agreement when Jefferson and Nathan went to join their kids in the search of dinosaur books.

He had almost forgotten about who's domain he was in, when a sweet voice chirped, "Can I help you find anything?"

Nathan froze as Neal shot up.

"Yes ma'am. Dinosaur books, cause me and Grace love dinosaurs!"

Nathan turned slowly to look at her. She was wearing a deep grey dress and black heels. Her hair was down and she was smiling.

"Dinosaurs, huh?"

"Yes ma'am, dinosaurs." Neal said in all seriousness, as if they were discussing a matter of upmost importance.

Belle knelt down and smiled at him, "I think I might be able to help with that." She extended her hand and Neal didn't hesitate to take it.

Nathan stood up to, then looked at Jefferson. He was hovering over the ground, starting to stand, but waiting.

Nathan shook his head once, then followed Belle and Neal as they walked.

She led them through several more bookshelves before finally stopping.

"Here we are," Belle chirped and handed Neal a book. He took it and smiled widely, looking at the picture on the cover.

"Look, Papa! Dinosaurs!"

Nathan smiled, "I see 'em Neal."

Belle grinned, "A gift. You can have it on one condition--" she paused dramatically and Neal leaned forward, paying rapt attention, "you tell me about your favorite one."

His eyes went wide, looking at her in almost disbelief.

Instead of answering, Neal flung his arms around her waist, hugging her tight. Belle stumbled half a step back before she hugged him too.

"Thank you, ma'am!" Neal said politely, though with an undertone of barely controlled eagerness.

"Of course, but remember that you have to tell me about your favorite some time," Belle reminded, and Neal nodded enthusiastically before going back to Grace and Jefferson.

They stood in silence for a while before Nathan murmured, "Thank you for that."

Belle turned and looked at him then, azure eyes almost studying his, "He's a great kid, Nathan. You've done a good job."

Nathan swallowed thickly and gave her a polite nod, "Thank you, Belle."

She gave him another soft, albeit uncomfortable, smile and then slipped back into the crowd.

"You good?" Jefferson asked once he returned to the sitting area.

Was he? If you'd asked him that same question two hours ago it would've been a no. But now? His heart still ached and being around Belle for any reason still caused mixed feelings of anger, longing, hurt, and love to stir up, but he was managing.

"Yeah. I think I am. And if not I will be at some point," Nathan responded and Jefferson gave him a clap on the back before he stood up.

"Alrighty, kiddos. Let's go, it's already really late."

Nathan followed behind them, and after they dropped Jefferson and Grace off back at their house and with Neal falling asleep in the back seat, Nathan could almost believe himself.

Almost.


	5. The Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in Belle's POV. I don't know how many of these I will do, but this one was kind of important.

Oh she'd messed up. Big time.

Being around Nathan was hard enough, as every time she saw him all she wanted to do was beg for forgiveness. Or kiss him senseless. Sometimes both.

But as neither were an actual option for her, she elected to do _neither_.

Still, when Belle had seen the little boy with curly brown hair and enthusiastic brown eyes (eyes that looked just like Nate's) she'd lost herself for a moment.

So Belle had done the unthinkable, she approached them.

In all honesty she hadn't actually meant to give the boy, _Neal_ , the book, just let him check it out. But when Belle saw his entire face light up at the prospect of reading...

It reminded her of herself.

And wow, that had hurt more than she thought possible. He had Nathan's face and structure, but his love of books had made Belle blink hard.

It wasn't that Nathan didn't like to read, in fact, Belle had very vivid memories of laying her head in his lap as he read to her. His fingers stroking through her hair and his voice lulling her to sleep. How after he'd always place the softest of kisses on her forehead before--

Belle swallowed hard. Best not to think about that.

But _Neal_. The way his entire face had seemed to lift, the disbelief in his eyes after she'd made her offer.

He'd instantly made his way into her heart.

And she hadn't had a lot of that since Nathan. There had been a brief time were she'd been dating Will Scarlet. He was nice enough, but his jokes didn't make her laugh until her stomach hurt. His smile didn't make her weak in the knees. And his kisses...

His kisses couldn't touch what Nathan's made her feel.

So she'd ended it with him, realizing she'd never find another Nathan Gold. And, not for the first time, she wanted a do over. She wanted a chance to go back and shake some sense into herself.

_Can't you see that you're about to lose him?!_

_Don't you know we can't live without him?_

The ring.

She'd taken it off in a moment of weakness. Of fear. When her late night fit of self loathing got the better of her and the voices had convinced her that it was best for Nathan. He was sweet and caring and loving.

She was an antisocial bookworm who'd rather have books than human friends and wasn't that sad?

Of course she'd grown out of that antisocial phase, but not before making the biggest mistake of her life and taking off the ring.

Just one day. One day to not wear it and see if she really could cope without him. One day to test her resolve and see if she was actually strong enough to let him go.

And that had been the day Nathan decided to visit.

But Belle had her answer. A resounding _No_ , she couldn't. Not that she had a choice anymore. 

Belle stared blankly at the ground in front of her. She was hurting, but she had no right to because it was her fault they were over. She was also insanely, irrevocably, and totally in love. That would never change.

Her one true love had been Nathan.

A sharp knock on her door made her slip out of her depressing thoughts.

"Belle! I know you're in there!"

A brief pause and Belle held her breath. Really, Ruby was great but right now Belle was in no state for visitors.

"If you don't open this door in the next five seconds it's coming down. And _I'm_ not paying to replace it."

Hastily Belle ran over to open her door, knowing Ruby well enough to know she'd actually do it.

Ruby was leaning against her doorframe, a single eyebrow raised.

"Well that sure was quick. Don't fancy keeping guests waiting?"

Belle tried to smile, but it came off as more of a grimace, "More like I don't fancy paying property damage."

Ruby stood up straight, frowning slightly, "You were thinking about him weren't you?"

It wasn't a question. She knew the answer, but asked nonetheless.

Belle nodded.

"Oh Belle, c'mere."

Ruby opened her arms and Belle hugged her tight. Belle felt silent tears slip down her cheeks, but she wouldn't break down. Not now.

Ruby pulled away after a moment, "Hey, I'm here for you okay? No matter what Belle, I've got your back."

Belle managed a pained smile and nodded.

Ruby then came all the way inside, shutting the door behind her.

"What kinda toppings do you like on pizza? Me, I'm one for the classics, but I'm up for trying new things."

Belle knew Ruby was just trying to distract her, and it made her smile a smile that wasn't forced and trembling.

She wasn't alone, anymore. She had someone to talk to. She had someone to trust.

And so, Belle let herself be distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that the comments section is a place where you can say what you like or dislike, maybe even hate, about the story. And I try really hard to answer and explain everything in there, but I won't respond or allow comments with crude or vulgar terminology to stay up.


	6. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal's kinda nervous. Belle isn't amused. Nathan totally is.

And so, without Nathan meaning to, they developed a routine. Every afternoon, he would drop Neal off by the library and let he and Belle talk about anything and everything under the sun.

During which period he would quietly retreat to his own shop and finish up some task before he picked up Neal again. It was normal.

So, it really shouldn't have been a surprise when Neal said:

"Hey Papa, can I invite Miss Belle to my birthday party?"

Nathan had been bringing a forkful of eggs to his mouth, but the fork hit the plate with a little _tink_ as he stared at Neal.

"What brings this up?" He asked as calmly as he could, wiping his mouth with the corner of his napkin.

Neal shrugged and looked at his eggs, moving them around slowly with his fork. "I think she's really nice, and I like talking to her 'bout dinosaurs. She knows a lot!"

Nathan exhaled deeply, mentally counting to ten before replying, "It's your birthday party, son. If you want to invite Belle, invite her. If you want to invite the whole town, invite the whole town."

Neal scrunched up his nose and shook his head vehemently, "No. Just Miss Belle, I think." Neal took a big bite of eggs, chewing thoughtfully, "Oh, with Grace and Jefferson too, obviously."

Neal rolled his eyes at himself, grinning a little.

"Of course," Nathan added in complete seriousness, fighting his own smile.

Neal gave a nod and quickly finished his breakfast.

"Can we go to the library now?"

It was all Nathan could do to keep his smile in place.

**X**

Nathan saw her gliding between the bookshelves, humming softly.

"Neal! I was thinking about trying something new today, maybe talking ab--" she stopped abruptly when she saw Nathan leaning against a bookshelf. "Hello, Nathan. I didn't realize that you'd be joining us today."

Neal smiled widely, but Nathan could see the nervousness in his eyes, "Actually, Miss Belle I was wondering... I--"

He blew out a breath and looked at the floor, speaking in a rushed whisper. "Today is my birthday, and I was wondering if maybe you could come to my party?"

Belle's eyes were wide and her mouth was open slightly, "It's your _birthday_?"

Neal gave a little nod, fidgeting slightly.

Belle narrowed her eyes then, squatting down to be eye level with him, "And you didn't tell me this yesterday?"

Two quick shakes of his head and a guilty puppy look in his eyes that made Nathan bite his cheek hard to keep from laughing.

"Why...?"

"Well--I didn't want you to feel like you had to but then this morning--"

"Neal, why would you... I--" Belle released a shaky laugh, "I would be honored to attend your party."

He gave her a sheepish smile that made Nathan smile.

"I knew you'd say that. I don't know why I was so nervous to ask..." He mumbled, scratching his head.

Belle tapped his nose as she stood up, making him giggle. "Me neither. But yes, I will definitely be there."

Nathan looked at her and mouthed _Thank you_.

Belle gave a half shoulder shrug and a smile. He smiled back.

It struck him then, quite suddenly, that it wasn't forced. It was an actual, genuine smile.

_Oh man..._


	7. A (Almost) Kiss

Things changed after that, Belle noticed.

Neal's party had been little more than a gathering of friends eating amazing food (which she suspected Nathan had cooked) while watching A Land Before Time marathon.

Nathan and Jefferson had immediately sat on the floor with their children, who were both locked onto the TV.

After a brief moment of deliberation, Belle opted to sit next to Nathan, her legs curled up under her.

He gave her a slight smile that made her stomach flip, and then refocused on the TV.

After the party was over, Neal having stopped trying to drag it out, Belle stood to go.

"Let me at least walk you to your car," Nathan said, smiling a little as he too rose, ruffling Grace's hair as he passed her.

"Thanks for coming, Belle. He-uh... He really wanted you here."

Belle smiled again and leaned against her car, head tilted just a bit. "I stand by what I said, Nathan. He's a great kid, so very creative. Kindhearted and compassionate."

Nate took a few steps closer and Belle almost stopped breathing.

He was so close that she could feel his breath on her face, and the smell of cinnamon and something that was uniquely Nathan.

"Nate..." Her voice was breathless, almost too quiet to hear.

He seemed to visibly relax at the old nickname, how long had it been since she'd called him that? How long did she think she could pretend she wasn't insanely in love with him?

He leaned in close and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, lingering only a moment before pulling away.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised in a quiet murmur.

Belle could only nod, her entire world seeming to be imploding around her.

"Nate!" She called after him and he paused, turning back to look at her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Her voice caught slightly, and she cursed herself for her weakness when she felt tears sliding down her cheeks.

He walked back to her and brushed them away with his thumbs, "Me too."

He gave her one last smile and went back inside.

After her mind had processed what had just happened, her hand instantly went to the spot where his lips had been. Her skin was overly warm, and she was well aware that she was smiling like a fool.

He'd kissed her! _He'd kissed her!_

Well... Sort of.

But Belle decided to count it, considering it was the closest thing she'd felt to flying since their last real kiss.

Still, her mind, much against her own will, provided her with the exact memories of feeling his lips on hers.

She _missed_ him.

Of course she'd known that, but not as much as when she was reminded how it felt to be that close to him. She could practically see his emotional borders lowering, and Nate-- _her_ Nate-- starting to surface.

He was opening himself up, and if she got lucky enough to hold his heart again, she promised him and herself that she wouldn't break it.


	8. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight time jump. Just two weeks later.

In the end, it was a storm that did it.

Nathan looked out the shop window and frowned. This morning it had been a light drizzle, now it was working up to a steady downpour. And it was also December. In Maine.

_Great_.

For a moment he considered just closing up shop. It was already way later than he usually stayed open and with this bloody weather, no one in their right mind would be outside.

Before he had time to further grumble at the weather, his phone chimed twice, alerting him of two new messages.

**Jefferson** : _It's raining pretty hard here. You want me to take Neal home, or should I let him crash here?_

**Nathan** : _Crash there. I trust you, just keep him safe and stay safe yourself. Tell Grace I said hi._

The next text wasn't so kind.

**Milah** : _You can't keep him from me forever, Nathan. I want to see my son._

**Nathan** : _He's my son, Milah. Not yours... but I'll talk to him. If he says "no" then it's a NO. You go away and stay away._

Her reply was almost instant.

**Milah** : _Fine._

Nathan tossed his phone onto the counter with a frustrated sigh. He was about thirty seconds into the most blissful silence of his life when a sharp knock on his shop door yanked him back into the present.

Belle stood there, bundled in a huge winter coat, waving at him.

"Belle? What are you doing here, it's freezing out. And raining. A very bad combination in Maine."

Belle smiled widely and showed him a book.

"I bought it, ridiculously cheap considering I think it's a first edition, but I wanted make su--"

Her sentence was interrupted by a loud crack of thunder that made Belle jump. Her eyes went wide and Nathan could _see_ the color leech out of her face.

"Are you alright, Belle?" He asked gently.

Belle's eyes snapped to his, wide and terrified, but she murmured, "Of course. It's just a storm."

_"It's just a storm, Belle."_

_Nathan loved his girlfriend, truly he did, but Belle was acting like a tsunami was heading their way._

_"Yeah? That's what my mom said and look how that turned out." Her voice was laced with pain and fear and okay, no teasing._

_Not now._

_"Hey, Belle," he crouched down in front of her, but another crack of thunder made her jump farther back._

_"Belle," he lowered his tone and, finally, wide blue eyes met his. The flash of lighting illuminated those eyes, making them almost glow. He could see her fear._

_He knew exactly how Colette French had died._

_Belle had told him, sobbing into his shirt, little body convulsing with sobs. His heart had broken with every one._

_Drowning. And even worse, Belle had witnessed it, helplessly trapped in a single air pocket as her mother sank._

_"Baby, if you're scared of the storm, then let me be your safe house."_

_She blinked at him, eyes slowly focusing. "My safe house?"_

_Nathan nodded, kissing her trembling lips softly, "Yeah. The place you can always go."_

_She nuzzled closer to him and Nathan gently moved her forward so he could position her between his legs._

_He held her for the rest of the storm, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead, mumbling soothing nonsense against the shell of her ear until the crying had stopped and her breathing evened out._

_That's when he realized how in love with her he actually was._

Belle was staring hard at a single spot on his wall, fingers clutching the arm of the chair that she'd practically collapsed in until her knuckles were white.

Nathan walked over to the door and pulled, no luck. They were frozen in.

Belle looked on the edge of panic, face ghost white and arms trembling.

"Let me be your safe house, Belle."

He heard the breath whoosh out of her and wide azure eyes met his in disbelief.

No going back now.

"What did you say?" Her voice was barely a whisper, mouth open just a little and eyes shining with unabashed hope.

He knelt in front of her then, taking her trembling hands (from the storm or his words he didn't know) and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Let me be your safe house. I promise I'll keep all the scary stuff out," and then, almost as an afterthought, "it's okay. Trust me."

She nodded once and took his outstretched hand.

After she was standing up, she tried to let go, but he intertwined their fingers.

"Nate--"

He cut her off by placing a single finger against her lips, "Please don't. Let's just... be. Tonight. It's okay."

Gently he cupped her cheek and kissed the very corner of her mouth.

"Please Belle."

The other corner.

Her hand was wrapped around his tie in a death grip, eyes wide and filled with tears.

But she was nodding enthusiastically, "Nate..."

It was all the encouragement he needed to lift her chin and kiss her, square on the mouth.


	9. Trying

Nathan knew this was a bad idea.

Even as Belle's hands wound into his hair his mind screamed for him to _stop_.

But he and Belle were dancing on the edge of a cliff and he _wanted_ to fall. Screw consequences and regrets and heartache. He wanted this. He wanted _her_.

The part of his mind labeled _Common Sense_ was quickly overridden by the much larger part labeled, _Still In Love With Belle_.

"Are you--sure?" Belle panted out.

At some point they must have moved because her back was now against the wall, and her eyes were so dark they could've been black.

"This won't fix us," Nathan warned, even as her gave her shoulder a quick kiss.

"Is there still an 'us' to fix? Can we still... Is there hope?"

Her voice broke on the word and Nathan pulled back.

"Of course there is, Belle," he offered her a half smile and tapped his forehead with hers, "There's always hope."

Belle leaned in and kissed him, once. Twice. Three times.

By the fourth, tears had slipped out of the corner of her eyes.

"I missed this so much." Her voice was hoarse, and she peppered his neck with kisses as she spoke.

And his resolve broke.

He wanted to try again. He wanted to love her wholly and completely. He didn't want a quick tumble in his shop. He wanted to _try._

He laid a hand on her shoulder to push her back softly, only for her to moan a denial and press closer.

"I want to try, Belle. If we do... _this_ it could ruin any chance of fixing us. Not now."

"But you said... I thought..." Belle stammered and he kissed her once.

"I want to try, Belle. Really _try_."

Her fingers stilled in his hair, her eyes gone impossibly wide.

"You want to try? We--"

Nathan nodded again, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"We'll have to start slow, I'm not--" he swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not ready for this kind of relationship yet."

As his example he squeezed her waist before pushing her away. This time she complied.

"Yeah. Okay, I--yeah." Belle agreed, nodding vigorously.

"I'm sorry it's just--"

"I hurt you. And you're not ready for that right now." Belle finished softly.

Nathan took a deep breath and exhaled far too shakily for his liking, "Yeah."

Belle blinked rapidly, "You know that I'm sorry for that right? I never... I should have--"

Nathan offered a pained smile, "It's okay, Belle. I know why you did it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Or does he?


	10. Talking

Belle blinked in surprise, "You do?"

If he'd known, then why had he left? Nathan Gold was many, many things, but cruel was _not_ one of them. At least... Belle hadn't thought so.

"You wanted a fresh start. I understand now that the ring was a bit much--" he cut off with an attempted chuckle, though it sounded forced and painful. "At the time I just wanted you to have something physical. Something that could be there when I couldn't. You wanted to be free, meet new people, maybe talk to other--"

"No!"

Once her tongue had thawed and she'd been able to speak, she'd cut off his completely wrong assumptions.

A fresh wave of pain washed over her at the thought that Nathan truly believed she'd just cast him aside like that.

"Nathan... Nate--no. That's not it at all."

He looked at her then, really looked at her, and Belle gasped.

His walls were completely down. There was raw pain and anger and longing staring back at her.

"I didn't think I deserved you."

The words were barely a whisper, so quiet she feared he hadn't heard her.

But then he seemed to stumble a step back, brown eyes going almost comically wide in surprise.

"Did I--" he licked his lips, "I never meant to make you feel like that Belle. Never."

"It wasn't you, Nate. It was me. My stupid insecurities and recklessness."

Nathan smiled sadly, "And my inability to listen. I stormed off that day, Belle. I shouldn't have done that."

They stood in silence for a bit before Nathan stroked her cheek softly, "The ring? If not because you wanted a fresh start, then why? Why take it off?"

His voice wavered slightly and Belle cursed herself--again-- for hurting him. She'd never meant to. She'd been trying set him free.

"I was trying to see if I could do it. If I could live without you. If I could actually let you go."

Nate made a soft noise and pulled her close, kissing her hair. "Belle... You should've told me."

And that's what hurt. Logically Belle knew that her fears were irrational, just as she knew that he loved her. But then? In the heat of the moment and with stress all but suffocating her, she'd panicked.

"I should've," Belle agreed, leaning closer to him and inhaling deeply. Already she had convinced herself she was dreaming. No way she was getting another chance.

But as he lead her to a small cot and urged her to lie down, it got harder to convince herself.

"Where are you going?" She asked after he had wrapped a warm blanket around her and started to walk away.

"I have a sitting chair in the corner. Comfortable enough. You just rest, Belle."

"Stay with me?" She wet her lips, then softly added, "Please?"

Nathan looked hesitant, "Belle..."

"Just to sleep." She quickly clarified, a blush dusting her cheeks.

Nathan hesitated a moment more before slipping into the bed with her.

She instantly nuzzled in closer and he went stiff.

"Too much?"

He shook his head, "No--yes. I-I don't know. It's just so different, but also so familiar."

Belle nodded against his chest and breathed deeply, shuddering at the feeling of being pressed against him.

That glow faded, however, when a crack of thunder almost sent her flying off the bed.

Nate had snaked his arms around her, rubbing soothing patterns along her back and, impossibly, Belle found herself relaxing.

"Is this okay?" Nate asked in a sleepy murmur, arms squeezing her softly.

"Yes," she managed to rasp out, "it's perfect."

She felt his smile against the top of her head.

"Yeah," he agreed, "it is."


	11. The Next Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, I admit, is a filler. And I didn't feel right using my update day to post this, so double update today?

Nathan went to stretch out and froze.

There was a certain cold in the air, he could feel it. Even buried under the blankets and cuddled into warmth, he could feel the cold.

Just as he could feel the unidentified source of warmth pressed against his chest.

That smelled of vanilla.

_Vanilla_.

Memories of the storm last night, Belle, a kiss that led to an attempt to restart their relationship.

Nathan's eyes snapped open and he looked down in disbelief.

Belle was cuddled tightly to his chest, arms tucked in front of her, cheek resting directly over his heart.

He smiled softly before kissing her forehead, "Belle? Wake up, sweetheart. It's morning."

She didn't budge.

"Belle..."

Nothing.

Finally, he leaned down and kissed her.

Her lips stretched into a smile and sleepy blue eyes met his.

"Is this a dream? Please tell me this is real, Nathan." She mumbled, half awake.

"Very real, Belle."

He kissed her again, cupping her cheek to deepen it. Belle moaned softly and sat up, curled on his lap.

"Mm. Good morning," Nathan said after they parted, kissing her cheek.

Belle's lip trembled and before Nathan had time to panic she shook her head, "No it's just... This is real. We're together."

Nathan gave a sad smile and kissed her forehead again, "We are. And we'll get it right, this time."

Belle murmured an agreement.

"But I need to get to the library. Finals for the high schoolers are in a few weeks and it's not very fair keep them closed out because I..."

Belle trailed off and kissed him once, hard.

Nathan pulled away before it could get to deep, a small part of him still hesitant with being with her again. But most of him was overjoyed to be holding her again. 

Nathan decided not to listen to the other part. The last time he had, they'd been separated for _years_. 

"Hey. Come back," Belle laughed softly, stroking her fingers over his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Belle. I--We're..."

"Moving too fast?"

"Not too fast, but fast. Then again..."

He kissed her again, cradling the back of her head.

"I really, _really_ like kissing you."

Belle laughed, scrunching up her nose. "Yeah?"

She bit her lip coyly, a slow blush creeping down her neck, "I really like it when you kiss me too."

Nathan grinned in spite of himself, and did just that.

Belle all but melted in his arms, body arching against his, a low moan vibrating through her throat that he swallowed completely.

_Go slow!_

He broke the kiss with a little tug on her lower lip.

Belle shivered, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I have to open the library," she whispered against his skin, though she made no move to get up.

"Go." He pushed her away, grinning.

She pouted, but it was refuted by the laughter in her eyes.

"So eager to get rid of me?"

Nathan shook his head, "No. I'll see you for lunch. And if you'll allow it, dinner."

Belle smiled and Nathan swore the room got warmer.

"Until then," Belle agreed, kissing his cheek softly.


	12. Protection

Neal swung slowly, dragging his feet through the dirt.

Things were different.

Miss Belle was coming over a lot more, and there was something different there.

It was like when Miss Nolan's husband, Mr. Nolan, came to class sometimes. Neal would see them laughing and talking, like they were alone. But then they'd see one of the kids and that would stop. The air seemed thicker between them, Neal noticed.

That's how Miss Belle and his Papa had started acting.

Of course, there had always been _something_ between Miss Belle and his Papa... but now it was less... tense?

Neal pushed his foot all the way into the dirt, making the swing stop with a creak.

Yeah. Tense was a good word for it.

"Neal!"

He looked up just in time to see Grace rush over, smiling at him.

"Hi, Grace," he mumbled, restarting his slow swinging.

Grace sat on the swing next to him, "What's up?"

Neal wished he could answer that.

But a strange pressure had settled over his chest, spreading slowly.

"Neal...?" Grace asked worriedly, her brown eyes filled with confusion.

Not that Neal noticed much through the ever spreading pressure.

And then, as suddenly as it had come, the pressure stopped.

Neal stopped the swing again, exhaling shakily.

"Neal? Are you okay? Should I get my dad?"

Grace's voice brought him out of whatever _that_ had been.

"No, I'm okay," Neal said, attempting to smile.

Yes, Neal was certain that he was alright... But something was very wrong.

  
X**X

Nate hadn't been this happy in a while.

He and Belle were stronger than ever, their relationship excelling.

"Where'd you go?" Belle asked, giggling softly. _God_ he loved that sound.

Smiling her twirled her, wrapping her back in his arms.

He dipped his head and kissed her soundly, pulling away before it could get too heated. They were in public after all.

"I was thinking about you. Us." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek.

Laughing he twirled her again, ducking his head to hide his (what could _only_ be described as boyish) grin. As he looked up, he saw it.

A car was speeding their way, the driver clearly losing control of the wheel.

For a fraction of a second, they locked eyes. The driver, Leroy Dwight, was desperately wrestling with the wheel, panicking.

He was going to hit Belle.

Even now she was at arms length away.

Time seemed to speed up and slow down in perfect sync. A part of him wanted to stomp and shout and rage. It wasn't _fair_ , they'd gotten so much better! They were happy!

And the other part, the part completely dedicated to Belle and her safety was already figuring the logistics of moving fast enough.

He _wasn't_ going to hit Belle.

No, Nathan wouldn't let that happen.

Belle, who always smelled like vanilla. Belle, who had won his sons heart.

Belle, who would always have his.

It was a splint second reaction, his body spinning to shield hers.

Belle screamed, the sound making his ears ring, so much that Nate barely registered the sound of screeching tires, a desperate shriek... and then nothing.


	13. Doctor Whale

_He had thrown himself in front of a car for her._

The medic from the ambulance-- and who called the ambulance?-- was asking her questions.

"Are you hurt?" He shone a light in her eyes, tilting her chin.

_He'd put himself in the path of a moving car for her._

Nate had been _hit_.

"Get Nate. Please-- I'm okay! Get Nate!"

Gently he took her hands, "Ma'am we got your friend already. Right now we need to focus on you. Did you hit your head?"

_Nathan._

"I'm okay. Please-- take me to him. I need to be there."

The medic regarded her curiously and Belle fought the urge to yell. The longer he took, the longer she was away from Nate.

She _needed_ to be there.

"Ma'am," the medic started slowly, "you were just involved in an accident, your mind--"

"Take me to Nathan or I'll find a way there myself," Belle ground out, keeping her gaze locked on the young medic.

He seemed to fidget, licking his lips and blowing out a breath. "Okay, okay. I want you to be checked out by our doctor anyways, you have a bruise on the side of your head. Possible internal bleeding."

Belle didn't know if he was talking to her or himself, but she didn't care. He was taking her to Nate. That was all that mattered.

The drive to the hospital was then longest experience of her life. The medic had been asking her questions, but she ignored him.

Nate was hurt.

When they arrived the medic got her a room and told her the doctor would be in soon.

"Hello ma'am, I'm Doctor Whale, I under--"

"Is Nathan okay? Is he hurt really bad? Can I help?"

Doctor Whale blinked, then ran a hand through his shock of blonde hair.

"Look Miss French, I'm not going to lie to you, your friend is really hurt. He's slowly becoming stable, and I have him on plasma to counteract his loss of blood, but he's still pretty hurt."

Belle gripped the her hospital gown tightly--when had she changed?--, biting her lip hard to keep from shattering completed. "But you said he's becoming stable. That's good, right?"

Doctor Whale sat heavily in the stool next to Belle's bed, "Yes and no. It's a good thing that he's stabilizing, however he's still unconscious. If he stabilizes in that state, then we may be looking at possible head trauma."

Belle doubled over, clutching her stomach as Doctor Whale's words sank in.

_Unconscious. Head trauma. Plasma._

"I--he... Neal. He has a son," Belle mumbled.

Doctor Whale gave her leg a pat and stood up, "I know. His friend Jefferson has said that Neal will be staying with him and his daughter Grace for the time being."

Belle nodded dumbly.

Nathan had gotten hurt. Really hurt.

"Try and rest," Doctor Whale said, looking down at his clipboard and scratching his head. "I'm going to keep you overnight. Just to run some basic tests, your pulse and BP are a little high, but that's to be expected. My main concern is that bruise on your temple. Need to make sure it's nothing more than just a bruise."

Doctor Whale gave her a small smile, but Belle didn't even try to reciprocate it.

Nathan was hurt.

"Really do try and rest some, Miss French, I'd ha--"

"My name is Belle," she blurted suddenly. This man, Doctor Whale, was going to be working on saving Nate's life. At the very least they could be on a first name basis.

Doctor Whale smiled, "Victor. Now get some rest, Belle. I'll do everything I can to help Nathan. You have my word."


	14. Milah

Nathan healed slowly.

Doctor Whale assured her over and over that his numbers were normal and his oxygenation was good.

But he wouldn't wake up.

When the three week mark hit, Belle could see Doctor Whale's nervousness. The way his always encouraging eyes seemed to darken and his lips pursed with worry when he thought she wasn't looking.

"Belle..." Doctor Whale ran a hand through his hair and sighed softly. "I think we need to start discussing other opt--"

Belle covered her ears and hunched forward, "No! No, no, no. I'm _not_ talking about this."

Victor grabbed her arm gently and shook his head, "Not that. I mean Neal."

Belle blinked slowly, "What do you mean? He's with Jefferson, right?"

Truthfully, Belle had been spending most of her time at the hospital, by Nathan. Begging him to wake up. The few times she had seen Neal, he'd been with Jefferson.

Victor nodded slowly, "That's the problem. Jefferson may be Gold's best friend, but he had sole custody of his son."

Belle frowned. "Nathan, do you mean?"

Victor nodded, "Yeah. Milah sighed over all rights to Gold, but she is still his birth mother."

Belle struggled to keep up, "Not a very good one."

Victor gave a humorless laugh, "That's no secret. She sighed over her rights to Neal before he was even born."

Belle shivered.

Neal was an amazing child. And, unsurprisingly, Belle felt extremely protective of him. So... what did Milah have to do with this?

"I'm confused, why bring her up?"

Victor sighed, "As standard procedure in accidents like this, we find any information on Mr. Gold that we can. Making sure there is no personal grudge between Mr. Gold and Mr. Dwight."

Belle nodded.

"And we found these." Victor finished, handing her a manilla envelope.

**Distribution of Profit**

"When someone like Mr. Gold has as much money as they do, they're likely to have one of these." He tapped the envelope.

Belle opened the envelope hesitantly. Was this even legal? Slowly she read:

"I, Nathan Gold, hereby officiate these documents... Victor what is this?"

He turned pages and pointed at the very last paragraph, "Read this."

_To use when necessary: I divide my finances thusly. Twenty five percent liquidated and given to Jefferson Madden. Twenty five percent liquidated and given to Belle French..._

Belle felt the air rush out of her lungs. When had _this_ happened?!

"Keep going," Victor prompted.

_...and fifty percent to Neal Gold. All remaining properties are too also be liquidated and given to Neal._

"He left Neal a fortune. But what does any of this have to do with Milah?"

"She showed up at Jefferson's house, demanding that he hand over Neal," Victor continued, as if this explained everything.

"What?" Belle flew out of the chair, sending the overly plush thing a few inches back.

"Easy, Belle. He refused, but..." Victor stalled, toying with the many rings on his fingers.

"What is it?" Belle questioned, a sharp feeling of dread creeping up her spine.

Icy blue eyes turned on her, "Her rights, sighed over to Gold or not, trump Jefferson's as Gold's best friend."

"No... Th-that's not... Why would she...?"

Victor gripped the arm of his chair tightly, his knuckles white, "She's taking Jefferson to court. She wants full custody."

Belle had just sat back down, and she already wanted to shoot back up. "She can't!"

Victor sighed, slumping down into his chair, "Technically she can't. She can if she has a friend on the court."

Belle pondered this, forcing herself to remain calm. "If she has a friend on the court, why not do this sooner?"

"Even with a friend on the court, she signed over her rights. But since Gold is..." Victor ran his hands down his scrub pants, "She could play the 'concerned mother' act. She's good. I've seen her."

Belle digested this slowly.

"That's not all," Victor whispered, "since Neal is under the age of twenty one--"

"--all of the money Nate left for Neal would be left in her hands." Belle finished, horrified.

Victor nodded grimly, "Doesn't she have funny timing? You have to wonder why the sudden urge to come back to Storybrooke three weeks after your ex husband is in an accident."


	15. The Courtroom

It would have been okay, relatively okay, if she had actually wanted a part in his life. But just for money?

Belle fumed as she walked into the courtroom, already shaking with silent anger.

It didn't take her long to find Milah.

Even never meeting her, Belle could point her out. She stood with a smarmy looking man, dressed as if she was going out.

"... Nathan is usually so careful, he just wasn't thinking straight." She chimed, running her perfectly manicured nails down said smarmy mans arm.

Belle could feel the moment Neal, Jefferson, and Grace all walked in. Instantly Milah seemed to be on high alert, lips pursed in faux sympathy.

"Oh, my poor boy. Come he--" before she had even finished her syrupy sweet cooing, Neal had locked eyes with Belle.

She barely had time to hit one knee before she had her arms full of five year old.

Instantly her fingers started running through his hair as she murmured assurances in his ear.

Neal let out a sharp sob against her shoulder and Belle clutched him tighter.

"Hush, darling. It's okay, it's going to be okay, hmm? Shh, love." Belle whispered in his ear.

When she looked up Milah was studying her with narrowed eyes, her mask temporarily slipping.

Belle clutched Neal even tighter, not breaking eye contact.

If Milah wanted Neal she'd have to pry him from Belle's arms, court order be damned.

Belle gently tried to push him down so they could take their seats but Neal shook his head and twined his arms around her neck.

Belle stood carefully, still holding Neal, and sat on a bench, kissing the boy's hair and rocking him slowly.

Jefferson watched all of this with a small smile, and Belle gave him a nod in return.

Neal had stopped crying, but still shook in her arms. Belle took off her jacket and wrapped it around his little body, holding him close.

Judge Hopper cleared his throat softly, "Let's begin."

Milah stood tall, radiating confidence and ease, her body language screaming comfortable and assured while her eyes seemed cold.

Jefferson, for his part, tried to look at ease and relaxed, but his eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed. It was clear he'd been crying.

But he looked directly at Judge Hopper, chin up.

Belle felt a surge of pride and guilt. She loved Nathan, but so did Jefferson.

She'd left him for weeks with two emotionally fragile children, not even thinking about what that would mean for him.

But at the same time, there was no way she'd be able to hold and comfort Neal without having had those weeks where she didn't have to be strong. Where she could cry and sob if she needed to.

"...ought to be with his mother, your honor. Now I understand that if Nate does wake up," her nose twitched in displeasure Belle noticed, and the shaking boy in her arms was the only thing keeping her from stomping over and slapping Milah for that, "this will all be for naught, but until then, I want-- _need_ my son."

Her voice seemed to break at that last part and Belle seethed quietly. Victor was right, she was good.

"Your son that you haven't seen in five years." Jefferson added softly, though his voice could be heard across the court.

Milah flipped her hair and narrowed her eyes briefly at him, "I wanted to, but Nathan wouldn't let me."

Jefferson tightened his grip on the small stand that he stood in front of, "Because you gave him away before he was even born, Milah."

Neal jerked once in her arms and let out a shaky sigh. Belle took her hand and pressed of his ears into her stomach, the other covered by that hand.

"And I've never regretted anything more, when I think about how much time I lost with him--" she cut and turned, letting out a breathy sob.

Jefferson sneered at her performance, shaking his head. Other members in the court seemed to be eating it up, exchanging sympathetic looks and clutching their hearts.

She was good. Really, really good.

Belle felt a little ill.

Keith Sherwood, sheriff of their little town, handed her a tissue and rubbed her back gently.

"Your Honor, I've known this woman for a long while, most my life in fact, and I've seen her regret. I've seen her be tried by life again and again and she always comes out stronger for it. She loves that little boy, all she wants is a chance to show it."

The speech seemed rehearsed, Keith focusing on what he was saying.

The little nod he and Milah's paramour exchanged further proved her theory.

Belle felt worry creep through her... until she saw Judge Hopper. He was regarding Neal with concerned eyes, completely immune to Milah's charm.

"Neal, could I talk to you for a moment?" Judge Hopper asked softly, smiling lightly at the boy.

Neal sat up, but didn't leave her lap, nodding.

"I know you've been through a very hard time, you're so brave, Neal..." He licked his lips and smiled, "People are here that care about you and your safety."

Belle could've sworn his eyes flicked to her briefly, but then he was addressing Neal again.

"But I believe that children should make there own choices, no matter how young. You need to be with someone who makes you feel safe and loved, okay? Wherever _you_ feel the safest, Neal."

Belle smiled and loosened her hold on him. Now he could go with Jefferson and Milah wouldn't ever get her hands on him.

Neal slowly slid off of her lap, then looked directly at Judge Hopper.

In that moment, Neal couldn't have looked more like Nate if he'd tried.

His young eyes were filled with determination, chin held high.

"Wherever?" He asked bravely.

Judge Hopper smiled and nodded, "Wherever."

Jefferson was great with him, Belle thought. He'll be safe and loved and taken care of, and Belle swore to herself that she'd visit him every day.

... Except Neal wasn't moving towards Jefferson.

He was climbing back onto her lap.

"Miss Belle, can I stay with you... please?"

"Of course, love." Belle said, running a hand through his hair and smiling to hide her tears.

Neal launched himself into her arms and Belle held him just as tightly, kissing his cheeks and hair.

"Then that's settled," Judge Hopper said, smiling as he stood.

Milah turned and glared at Belle, her eyes saying it all. It wasn't over.

Belle raised a single eyebrow and met her stare.

Let her try to take Neal.

He said he felt safest with her, and Belle damn sure was going to keep it that way.


	16. A Different Kind Of Love

She wasn't quite sure how long she sat there holding Neal. Long enough that Jefferson had given the two of them a tired smile and a nod.

Long enough that Milah had stormed out in a fit of rage, her true colors showing.

Long enough that Judge Hopper had changed into more casual clothes and was approaching them with a smile of reassurance.

"Hello, Belle," he greeted, sitting down next to her.

Belle squeezed Neal a little tighter and smiled back, "Judge Hopper."

"You know, you only have to call me that when court is in session. I'm still just Archie, Belle."

Archie ran a hand through Neal's messy brown curls, "I'm glad he feels safest with you. I saw him, you know. In the court, when Milah was trying to talk to him. I saw him, and when he saw you...it was like a stone had been lifted off of his shoulders. You make him feel safe, Belle. And he needs that, right now. He needs to know it's okay _not_ to be okay."

Belle sat in silence for a bit, cradling Neal closer. His breathing had long since evened out, telling her that he was asleep.

"I wasn't there for him." The words came out a broken whisper, showing her internal shame.

He'd needed her!

If today showed her anything, it was how much she meant to Neal.

And that was terrifying.

"You needed some time," Archie defended, "Anyone with eyes could see that you love Nathan, Belle. You needed time to put yourself back together before trying to hold Neal together."

"But Jefferson--"

"Has known the boy longer. But he didn't feel comfortable breaking down in front of Jefferson. He had to be brave. But with you, he knew he could break, because he knew you'd help him through it."

There was a deep silence between them, the only sound Neal's steady breathing.

"You're right," Belle said after a long while.

Archie patted her shoulder and stood, "Nathan will be okay, Belle. And so will Neal."

X**X

"Did you brush your teeth? I bought you a toothbrush, I left it on the counter next to mine."

"Yes ma'am."

Belle blinked slowly and stared. Then blinked again.

_Ma'am?!_

She hadn't been "ma'am" for a while now. A month at least.

Neal had settled into her guest bed and was lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Neal?" Belle asked gently.

No answer.

"Neal, you can talk to me. You know that, right?"

Still no answer.

Slowly Belle approached the bed and slid in next to him. "I've been with your dad everyday I could. I needed... I needed to see him. To make sure he was okay. But then I had this tight feeling in my chest, like someone blowing up a balloon real slowly, you know?"

Neal looked at her a moment, then nodded.

"And I thought it was because of Nathan, but it wasn't. You know how I know that?"

Neal was sitting up now, looking at her in confusion. He shook his head.

"I know because when I saw you in the courtroom, the balloon popped."

And then it was like they were back in the courtroom. Neal's eyes big and wide and fragile.

Scared.

Except this time Belle knew exactly what was coming and she opened her arms to the little boy as he crashed into her, his tears soaking her night shirt.

"I missed you," Neal whimpered against her shirt, arms squeezing her tighter than was comfortable.

Belle didn't know of a three worded combination that could've hurt more than what Neal had just said.

"I missed you too, Neal. So much, love. But it's okay Neal, I promise you're safe and cared for." Another word was on the tip of her tongue, but better to wait.

_Love._

Belle had thought she'd known what that was. Love was deep brown eyes and the smell of cinnamon. Love was hugging and kissing and _Nathan_.

But this wasn't any of those.

Love yes, but a different kind of love.

The kind that made it hard to breath when she'd thought Neal would be sent to Milah's. The kind that made her know the rushing five year old was running to her arms.

The kind that prompted her to squeeze Neal tighter and whisper reassurances against his little ears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Mothers Day!


	17. Hospital Visit

"D'you think Papa will like this one? It's my T-Rex, Spike. He can protect him when we're not there."

"I think that's a great idea, Neal. I'm sure Nathan will feel lots better."

Belle didn't know if this was the best idea. Nathan had healed well, but he was still really scraped up.

But Neal had insisted, deeming himself brave enough to take it.

So he sat in the back seat of her car, fiddling with his stuffed dinosaurs and occasionally telling them, "You take care of him."

Or Belle's favorite, "When Papa wakes up, tell him I love him. Unless I'm there. Then I'll tell him."

Belle flicked her eyes briefly to the rear view window, smiling at him.

In one smooth move she parked, turning off the car and taking a deep breath. She'd done this countless times these past few weeks.

But never with anyone else. Usually she'd have her little break down to get it out of her system, then she'd go and see Nate.

Not really an option now.

"Miss Belle, are we going in?" Neal asked from the back, leaning forward in the booster seat she'd bought the day he'd left the courtroom with her.

_Stay with it! He needs you to be strong!_

"'Course we are, love. Come on," Belle got out of the car and opened his door, holding out her hand.

Neal slipped his little hand in and grinned broadly, one arm cradling his stuffed animals to his chest.

Belle smiled at the nurses she passed, squeezing Neal's hand. By the time they stood in front of Nathan's room, Belle felt the familiar tug on her heart.

"Neal," she said lowly, dropping down to one knee so she was eye level with him, "I just want you to know that your Papa is okay. No matter how it looks in there, he's okay. Alright?"

Neal bit his lip and stared at door for a few long moments, then nodded.

With a deep breath, Belle pushed open the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'll be able to update tomorrow. If so, then an extra update day. If not, I got this in.


	18. Ashley and Sean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling lots better. Sorry for the kinda messy posting schedule, I just wanted to make sure I got two a week. This week is three.

The sound of steady beeping reassured Belle that at least he was breathing properly.

Neal sat in the only open space available on the small hospital bed, staring at Nathan closely. "He's gonna be okay, right?" Neal asked, keeping his voice pitched low as if Nathan was taking a nap.

If only.

"The doctors are doing everything they can, love. They say that he's doing lots better, though," Belle murmured, tipping her head back and snuggling closer into her chair.

Neal nodded, then quietly, "You won't let her take me, right?"

Belle frowned briefly, _Her?_

Then it clicked, "Oh, Neal. Of course not, love. Not ever."

Neal looked at her then, really looked at her.

His eyes held her stare for the longest second of her life. Outside nurses chatted and cart wheels squealed, but Belle held his gaze.

"Miss Boyd is going to pick me up later. Her and Sean are taking her sister to the park and Papa said I could go before..." He trailed off, then lowly, "I really want to go."

As if on cue, a young man appeared in the doorway, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Belle nodded, "Okay, Neal. That's fine, but be sure to check in okay?"

Neal muttered an affirmative and climbed off the bed.

Sean gave a wave and ruffled Neal's hair, walking away slowly.

Belle waited until they were out of sight before sitting next to Nathan.

"Hey handsome. It's me," she trailed a single finger over his cheek, "you probably knew that, huh? I've always been here."

Belle let her forehead fall to his chest, breathing deeply to inhale the faint lingering smell of cinnamon.

"Victor says you might be able to hear me. Can you?" Tears slipped out of her eyes and Belle gave a dry laugh. She thought she'd gotten past this.

"Why would you do that, Nate? Don't you know how badly I need you? How hard it is for me to breathe without you?"

Belle tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, kissing his stubbly cheek.

"I love you, Nathan. And I need you, so please... Wake up."

Not even a twitch.

Belle let out a breathy sob and buried her face on his chest, willing him to wake.

"Uh... Miss?"

A young voice chirped from behind her. Quickly Belle wiped her eyes and looked up.

"We're taking Mr. Gold to the OR now. There's still a fragment of metal in his leg and Doctor Whale wants to try and get it out."

"Sure, yeah. Can I--uh-- can I talk to him? Before that?"

The younger looking nurse fidgeted with a her name tag and nodded, "I suppose so. You know where his office is?"

Belle nodded politely and slipped out the door.

X**X

"And you'll call me as soon as he's done?"

Victor laughed, "Yes, Belle."

"And if anything happens?"

"Yes, Belle."

"Okay. Just..." Belle trailed off and found a point in the office to focus on, "I love him."

Victor smiled sadly, "I know you do, Belle. I know."


	19. Awake

"You have fun with Ashley and Sean?" Belle asked over dinner, pausing to gauge his reaction. Sometimes he wanted to talk to her, even sitting on her lap and cuddling close.

Other times he stared at a wall and barely spoke.

"It was really fun! Alex and me talked a lot about dinosaurs," Neal took a bite of spaghetti and chewed thoughtfully, "she didn't know as much as Grace does though. But she was still fun to talk to."

Belle smiled gratefully, so it was a good day then.

"Yeah?"

Neal nodded empathetically, making an enthusiastic  _Mhmm_  sound.

After dinner Neal helped Belle in the kitchen, drying the dishes that she handed him.

"You loved my Papa right?"

They were sprawled across her guest bed, eating ice cream. Belle looked over at Neal, laughing and wiping off the ice cream smudged around his mouth.

"Of course I do Neal. I love him very much, is that okay?"

Neal nodded, smiling a little at her. Then he suddenly became very interested in the floor in front of the bed.

"What about me?"

His voice was so soft that Belle hardly heard him, but her heart gave a painful tug at his question.

"Neal, love... I-you," Belle tucked a deep brown strand of curly hair behind his ear, "Yes, I love you Neal."

He tucked himself into her side, burrowing in close. "Sometimes I get scared at night..."

Belle ran her hand through his hair, silently willing him to continue.

"Can you--maybe..."

Belle kissed the top of his head to cut him off, "I get scared too, Neal. It's okay."

"May I sleep with you, please?"

Belle nodded, "Anytime you want, whenever you want."

"Miss Belle?"

"Yeah Neal?"

He looked up from her side, laying his head across his arm, "I love you too."

XX***XX

A horrid grading noise woke her up and she quickly sat up and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

Neal moaned quietly in his sleep, stretching slowly.

"Belle, it's Victor, I think you might want to get down to the hospital. Now."

Belle sat all the way up, "Why?"

"Nathan's awake." 


	20. When You Were Mine, Part 1

"It's common to have memory loss after an accident like this, Mr. Gold. They'll come back, give it time."

Then Victor turned to Belle, "We have him on pain medication, through his IV it might take a moment to kick in."

Belle squeezed Nate's hand and he gave a weak smile in return.

Doctor Whale left a moment later and Belle sat down on the edge of his bed.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Nathan frowned in concentration, "Our talk. In my shop."

Belle felt her heart drop to her stomach. Of course he wouldn't remember that they were trying, of course he'd forget giving her another chance.

No.

Them being happy would be too easy. He probably didn't wa--

"Belle..."

"Yeah I'm here, Nate. Just thinking is all. You okay? Need a nurse?"

Nathan shook his head slowly.

"Maybe something from home? Just tell me what you need Nate, and it's yours."

Nathan sighed softly and shifted, "I don't understand, Belle. I remember the way we parted after our talk and I know it wasn't good. But then, I remember hearing you talk to me."

Agonized brown eyes met hers, his pain slicing her as keenly as if it was her own. "Why do I remember that? Why did you stay?"

Belle squeezed his hand softly, "Nate... I know this is going to be hard to believe but, we got back together. You've forgotten and if you let me explain I swea-"

"That explains a lot." Nate murmured, the pain medicine finally seeming to kick in.

"Explains what?" Belle asked, stroking a hand through his hair gently.

"The dreams. I used to dream about you all the time after... And then Neal... Neal... _Neal_!"

"Hey, hey. Relax, Nate. He's in the waiting room with Jefferson. Doctor Whale said it might be best if he visited tomorrow, after you're a little more adjusted to the medicine."

Nathan slumped all the way back down, eyes closed. "It was always you. We were kissing a lot. I miss kissing you. I miss holding you and listening to your breathing. I miss calling you mine, Belle. In my dream, you were still mine. I want to go back to sleep, I want to dream."

Belle's lip trembled and she let out a shaky sigh. She really should leave, the medicine was making his tongue loose.

But she needed him. Doped up on medicine or cold sober, she _needed_ him.

"I've always been yours, Nate. My heart belongs to you, my love. Only you. Always you."

He had fallen asleep, so Belle kissed his forehead and slipped out of the room.

"How is he?" Jefferson asked, rubbing Grace's head soothingly. Both children were asleep on his shoulders, and Belle sat down slowly.

"Memory loss. Victor- Doctor Whale says it's common and that it'll come back, but..." She trailed off and exhaled, willing the tears that threatened to spill away.

"I'm sorry Belle," Jefferson stretched awkwardly to pat her shoulder, "What's the last thing he remembers?"

"The talk we had in his shop. The first day I was back."

"Is my Papa awake?" Neal mumbled sleepily, reaching out his arms.

Belle took the boy with ease and he instantly nuzzled into her shoulder, burrowing in her arms for warmth.

"He was for a minute, but the medicine they gave him made him really sleepy."

Neal's head bobbed up and down against her shoulder. "Mmhmm. Tha' makes sense. I had sleepy medicine that one time I broke my arm."

Jefferson smiled, reaching over to run a finger down Neal's arm. "I remember that, silly rabbit. Always getting hurt."

His voice had taken on a melodic tone, and Belle felt her own eyes wanting to slip closed.

Neal gave a quiet mumble in response, and then was asleep.

"Sleep, Belle. I'll wake you if anything happens."

Jefferson took off his coat and draped it around her and Neal. He had begun humming a tune under his breath, almost too quiet for Belle to hear.

A delicious laziness spread through her and she leaned farther back into the hospital chair, asleep in moments.


	21. When You Were Mine, Part 2

"I understand the ruling, but he's in the hospital! With memory loss, how is he supposed to take care of Neal?"

Belle jerked awake at the loud screaming, and the little boy in her arms let out a quiet whimper.

"Mrs. Jones-"

"We're not _married_. Just dating. And frankly, that doesn't matter. Now where is my son?"

Belle saw Victor take a deep breath, the repressed tension making the man practically shake.

"Maybe we could talk in my office. I'm sure-"

"I'm not your _student_ , Whale!" Milah screeched, blue eyes flashing, "I don't want to talk to you. I want my son."

And then the little body in her arms was moving.

"Neal?" Belle asked quietly, but he just gave her a small smile.

"I know you'll protect me. You always do. She doesn't."

And then louder, "You're not my mom."

Milah turned in surprise at the voice, not even seeming to register his words.

"You're not my mom," Neal repeated, eyebrows furrowed.

Milah froze for a moment, then turned her angry blue eyes at Belle. "You did this! You brainwashed my son into thinking that I'm not his mother. You're nothing more than a poor substitute, and he'll see that soon."

Belle opened her mouth to respond, but Neal beat her to it.

"Tell me something you know about me."

Milah was silent, then said, "This is pointless, Neal. I am your mother, now let's go."

She reached out a hand, but Neal took a step backwards.

"Tell me something you know about me." He repeated, but his voice was softer. Belle glanced over and could see the tears welling up in his eyes.

She didn't know anything.

"I'm your mother..." Milah tried again, weakly though. Her voice had lost its commanding edge, sounding more fragile than the steel it had been.

Neal shook his head sadly, then turned to Belle. "Tell me something you know about me."

Belle gave a soft puff of laughter, "What would you like to know about yourself, Neal?"

She kept her voice light and playful, hoping to erase that sad tinge in his eyes.

Neal seemed to think a moment, "I dunno. Random stuff."

"You like dinosaurs," Belle stated, giving Neal a big smile.

"Anything else?" He asked quietly, scuffing the hospital floor with his shoe. He seemed so small, quite suddenly. As if he was asking if she knew him. Not just Neal but _him_ , who he was past everything else.

He wanted reassurance she knew. That she'd _noticed_.

"You won't eat your eggs without pepper. Your favorite color is purple, but you'll never admit it. Too girly. When you're reading, everything else might as well fade away, you wouldn't notice an earthquake. Your favorite show is Scooby-Doo and you wake up early to make sure you don't miss it. Anything else?"

The sadness had faded, leaving an adoring look in his eyes. "No. That's enough."

By the way he was smiling, Belle thought it was probably more than enough.

"That doesn't matter, son. Just come with me and we can-"

"No! I'm not going anywhere with you," Neal stated, his usually soft voice laced with iron and determination.

"I think it's time you leave, Milah. You're not wanted here," Victor cut in, and only then did Belle notice the security guards standing beside him.

Milah snarled at them, then turned on her heel and stormed off.

"You know what else I like on my eggs?" Neal asked after a long moment of silence.

"Hm?"

"Ketchup." They said at the same time, and Neal dissolved into fits of giggles.

"You really do want me?"

"Neal, I love you very much. Of course I want you."

"I know, I just like hearing it."

He gave her a hug and slowly started walking in the direction of Nate's room.

"And Neal?"

"Yes?"

"Purple isn't girly."


	22. Identity Crisis

"But it wasn't really even that scary, papa. I was scared of her, but Belle was there for me," Neal confided, playing with a stuffed animal.

Nathan smiled at his son and gingerly wrapped his non-IV arm around him.

He hurt.

His arms and legs, but his head most of all. He remembered Belle slipping out the door, eyes shining with unshed tears.

He also remembered having her pinned under him, arms around her and hands tangled in her hair. Their tongues battling for dominance and their bodies practically fused together.

But those memories didn't feel like his memories.

Because this Belle wasn't in the house that his aunts had raised him in. This Belle wasn't nineteen and unsure of herself.

In these memories, - his memories- Belle was older.

Wiser and assured.

Beautiful.

When had he fallen back in love?

Nate almost snorted at that thought, when had he fallen out of love? He'd never _not_ loved her.

Even now his heart hammered with it. And it didn't help that he had a faint lingering taste of her in his mouth.

"Hey, Neal. Jefferson's here," Belle said, yanking him back to the present.

"Okay, thanks Miss Belle! See you, papa!" Neal exclaimed, racing out of the room.

Belle sat down in the chair next to him, smiling a little, "How are you?"

_"How are you?" Nathan asked as Belle wobbled unsteady on the ladder._

_"Been better," Belle answered in a quiet huff, causing Nathan to snicker in amusement, "the high schoolers need the encyclopedias for some research project that-"_

_"Belle?" He interrupted softly, the ladder giving a little lurch. Belle was oblivious._

_"-their teachers assigned, without warning and-"_

_The ladder gave one last dangerous wobbled before the old thing toppled over, sending Belle hurtling toward the ground._

_Not that she got there._

_Nathan caught her easily and Belle gasped heavily, clutching his tie in her shaking hands._

_"Are you- hmmp!"_

_He was cut off by her lips slamming into his, tongue shoving its way into his mouth._

_Belle moaned softly and angled her head, kissing him deeper._

_"Nate..."_

_He ripped his lips from hers and kissed down her neck. Then set her down and shoved her against the bookcase._

_Belle whined, high in her throat, and wrapped a leg around his waist._

_"Not here," she said huskily, eyes dark._

_Nate pulled away reluctantly and straightened his shirt, smiling at how thoroughly wrecked Belle looked._

_"Anyone could walk in," she explained, fixing her hair._

_"I know. I'm just addicted to the taste of you," Nathan replied, kissing her cheek._

_Belle's eyelashes fluttered, "Kiss me."_

_Nathan startled at that, "But you just said-"_

_She stepped forward and ran her tongue over his lips._

_"Kiss me."_

"Hey... You were a million miles away, just now. Where'd you go?"

Nathan rubbed his head awkwardly, "It was what you said. I think I was remembering something, you fell off a ladder?"

A slight blush crept down her cheeks, and Belle let out a little giggle that warmed his heart.

"A good memory, then. I mean, it's not like there-"

He kissed her quickly.

Belle trailed off, blinking.

Another kiss.

"You remember?" She asked hopefully, and it made his heart break.

"No," he answered honestly, "but I want to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for my inability to update on Sunday. I had family problems that really shriveled up my inspiration to write.


	23. Brave

"We can stop if we have to, Papa." Neal whispered as Nathan all but ground his teeth to dust.

He had healed quite a bit after the accident, but the cuts and bruises all over his body made a simple task like walking a challenge.

Nathan was about to decline and say that he could keep going, when he saw where they were. Ice cream parlor.

Perfect.

"I could go for a cone." He said, nodding his head towards the shop door.

The action made his head throb sharply, but Neal's radiant smile made it bearable.

"Okay!" Neal eagerly ducked back under Nathan's arm, helping him walk into the shop.

Nathan eyed the slight line with a grimace, his body already shaking from keeping himself up right.

As if Neal could read his mind he murmured, "I'll wait in line, Papa. You can go sit down."

Nathan hesitated.

Leaving his four - _five_ \- year old son to wait in line seemed like the irresponsible thing to do as a parent, however if he didn't sit down fast he was going to _fall_ down. So he nodded.

Neal helped him into a nearby booth and ran back to wait in line, holding the money Nathan had given him tightly in his (not yet sticky) hands.

Nathan watched with a small smile and Neal stepped up and ordered, his little chest puffed out in pride.

He was growing up.

And as Neal carefully brought the nearly toppling cones back to the table, Nathan hugged him.

Neal slipped into the seat across for him and licked at his cone, "Whas tha' for?"

Nathan shrugged and took a small taste of the ice cream, "Lots of reasons. And I'm really proud of you."

Neal startled at that, and a few drops of ice cream landed on the napkin he had placed on his lap. "For what?"

"Being so brave. I know that after the accident, that was hard."

The accident that he still remembered almost nothing about, but Nathan opted not to say that.

Meanwhile Neal took a mouthful of ice cream and swallowed thoughtfully, "I wasn't really that brave. It was mostly Miss Belle. She always helped me when I got scared."

Nathan nearly choked on his cone.

Of course, Belle taking care of Neal didn't surprise him... that was just Belle. Even when they were younger she volunteered to babysit, free of charge, to give busy parents a break.

But the clear love in Neal's voice threw Nathan for a loop.

He smothered a frustrated sound by shoving ice cream in his mouth.

Neal fidgeted slightly, squirming in his seat. "I know you don't remember everything, but when you saw the car, Miss Belle said you didn't wait to save her," Neal's nose scrunched up just a bit, head tilting, "Actually she used a bigger word, but I don't know how to say that."

Nathan laughed lowly, "Hesitate?"

"Hesitate..." Neal drew the sounds out slowly, then looked at Nathan in puzzlement. "Weird word."

Nathan gave an actual laugh at that, setting his cone down to run his hands over his hot face.

"I'm proud of you too, Papa." Neal stated, finishing up his cone before wiping his hands on a napkin.

Nathan paused at that, mind reeling. "What?"

"You protected her," Neal stated.

Nathan nodded slowly, "Well yeah, but..."

Neal rolled his eyes in affectionate amusement, "You're a hero, Papa. And not just to Miss Belle. To me too."

Nathan swallowed the lump in his throat rasped out, "Thank you, Neal."

Pain forgotten he walked over and wrapped his son in a tight hug, being instantly reciprocated by the little boy.

"Hey, what do you say we take Belle an ice cream cone?" Nathan asked, raising a single eyebrow.

Neal beamed and hurried to the register.

As Nathan watched Neal once again interact with the cashier, he mused on what he would ask Belle first.

Because he had _a lot_ of questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Family problems got in the way, but it's better now.


	24. Close

"Miss Belle! Look!" Neal exclaimed in an excited whisper, proudly displaying the slightly melted cone.

Belle laughed at that, taking the offered treat and hugging Neal tight. "Why thank you, young sir. It looks delicious."

Neal nodded his agreement, hair flopping in his enthusiasm.

"Hey, Belle. How are you?" Nathan asked after a long moment and Belle jumped a little.

"Nate! I'm so sorry I didn't see you there!" Quickly she gave him a tight hug, lingering just a bit longer than she had with Neal.

"Miss Belle, may I go look at books?" Neal asked, eyes filled with hope.

"Of course, remember the rules?" She knelt down to be eye level with him and Neal once again nodded.

"No running, yelling, or fighting. And no going into the office without permission from you."

Belle kissed his forehead, "Exactly. Have fun."

Neal quickly disappeared from sight, moving through the shelves.

"You two are close." Nathan stated, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah," Belle smiled as Neal picked out a book and sat in a beanbag, studying the words with upmost concentration. "After your accident, we uh...we got pretty close. He actually lived with me."

Nathan choked at that, looking at her in complete surprise. Why the hell hadn't that come up earlier?

"He said he felt safest with me," she continued, answering his unasked question.

"That's understandable."

Now Belle looked surprised, and maybe a little confused. "Huh?"

Make that a lot confused. Down right baffled.

"You're very..."

"Motherly?" She guessed, grinning at him.

"Well I was going to say comforting, but yeah. Motherly is also good."

Belle laughed again at that and Nathan smiled.

He loved making her do that.

"So we got back together?" He asked, making Belle look at him in shock.

So shocked in fact that Nathan had to go over what he'd asked in his mind because there was absolutely no reason for her to be looking at him like he'd grown a second head.

But then her startled look of - whatever - faded and then she just looked sad.

"Yeah, we did."

Nathan pondered this a moment, "And we were happy?"

Belle smiled a little at that, a fragile thing. "Very happy."

So he kissed her, just a quick peck.

Belle looked startled, "What was that for?"

"The kiss?"

Belle nodded, her fingers coming to rest lightly where their lips had met.

Nathan shrugged, "I wanted to. I like kissing you," he hesitated a bit, "Unless you'd rather me not."

Belle shook her head quickly, "No! I just...wasn't expecting that. But I liked it. A lot."

"Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this up, so only one chapter left after this. Thank you everyone who supported this fic! I really hope you like how it all ends.


	25. The Car

Nathan tried to hide his smile as Ruby fumed, her movements jerky and strained as she assembled his order.

"Everything okay?" He asked the girl, holding his food in one hand and fishing his wallet from his pocket with the other.

Ruby's eyes got wide, like a deer in headlights. "Oh! Um, yeah..."

Nathan leaned closer, "You sure?"

Ruby bit her lip softly and stared longingly out the window. "My, uh, my girlfriend works over at Billy's mechanic shop. I made her lunch but Granny won't let me leave this close to rush hour. We tend to get... busy."

Nathan suppressed a little chuckle at that, being well aware of the hellish experience of attempting to get down the street at Granny's rush time.

"And I know her, so I know she didn't pack a lunch. She's also very focus minded so she also probably didn't eat breakfast."

"I could run over there and give it to her." Nathan offered and Ruby instantly perked up.

"Really?"

"Yeah, no problem."

Ruby handed him another bag and have him a grateful smile. "Thank you for this."

Nathan gave one last nod and slipped out the door, humming as he walked towards the mechanic shop.

When he got there, spotting Ruby's girlfriend wasn't nearly as hard as he thought it would be, since he hadn't had the mind to ask her name.

There was a woman, elbow deep in oil and grease, hair pulled back in a messy bun.

"Uh...excuse me?" He said quietly and she pulled back.

"Yeah, one sec," quickly she washed her hands of the combined substances, turning the sink water a murky brown. "Okay, how may I help you?"

He extended the bag, "From Ruby, but she's unable to leave her post as rush hour is approaching."

Dorothy - as her slightly bent and very oily name tag stated - took the bag with a little smile. "That girl... Always looking out for me."

There was a deep love etched into her voice that made Nathan smile, happy for the two women.

"Thanks for this, Gold. I'm uh - kinda starving."

Nathan grinned at that, "Eat breakfast?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, she knows you pretty well."

Now Dorothy laughed, "You don't have to tell me that. Anyway, have a good day, Gold."

"The same to you, Ms. Hale."

And he rounded the corner, but not before catching sight of a car. Not just any car. No, that banged up machine belonged to one person.

Leroy Dwight.

**X**X**

Belle dusted the shelves happily, swirling through the library singing softly under her breath. It was uncharacteristically quiet and empty, a peaceful kind of hum going through the place.

Until Nate crashed in, the door flying open so hard that the bell only gave a single ring.

"Nate? What's wro-"

And then he was kissing her and she felt like she was flying.

Maybe spinning.

Or both, because when she opened her eyes he had lifted her up, twirling her around as she herself had been doing moments ago.

"Nate, what's gotten into you?" She laughed, slightly breathless and grinning like a fool.

"The night before the accident you told me you loved me. I didn't say it back."

Belle blinked in confusion. "No you said you loved me, I said that I-" _Wait_. "You remember?"

Now he was grinning and nodding and Belle was in the air again, laughing as Nate kissed her ears and cheeks and forehead.

"I saw his car at the mechanic. That's what triggered them."

Belle kissed him hard, wrapping him tightly in her arms.

"I love you, Belle. I love you, I love you, I love you."

In between each he pressed a kiss to her hair and she sighed happily. "God, I love hearing you say that. And I love you too."

He simply squeezed her tighter, as if the sheer force of his strength could keep them together. As if they'd never be separated again.

And as far as Belle was concerned, they wouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this fic has been a trip for me to write. I loved every moment of it and I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who supported me and left comments or even just gave it a shot! Thank you guys so much!

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated twice a week, Sunday and Thursday. Thank you so much for reading!


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